Negative people are everywhere in your life. You will have to face them at work, the grocery store, your college, even in your own home. And while it’s obvious that negative people are not enjoyable to be around.Unfortunately, those exact negative influences ,those negative people are holding you back from achieving higher levels of success in your life and in your career. They’re like human black holes who suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you. You feel exhausted and you may also start to feel depressed too.
And yet, despite all the evidence, removing those negative people from your life is not easy thing to do.
We will never completely be able to get rid of those negative people. Negative people will always be around. So rather than sit back and let those people influence our health and happiness, let’s focus on the things that we can actually control.
Here are some strategies which can works for you to deal with those negative people in your life.
- If you can understand where this negative people are coming from, it’s much easier to deal with. Some people seem to think that the only way they can get what they want is to be manipulative. Remember the saying, ” The squeaky wheel gets the grease“.They believe this and think that if they don’t whine and complain then they won’t be heard and this is the only way to get what they want.Remember that the negative behavior is a reflection of them. It tells you what kind of person they are and what issues they may be dealing with. It’s not a reflection of who you are.
- Whenever the negative tirade starts just smile and don’t say anything. Remain completely detached from it and don’t get involved in it. Leave the place if you can. Some negative people are simply seeking to get a reaction from you. That’s what they feed on. Don’t let them catch you in their web of negativity because as soon as you do, that’s when they start draining your energy.
- It’s the emotions that these negative people stir up in you that you need to learn to distance yourself from. Try just observing the whole scene. Say to yourself, “what a shame this person is so unhappy. Maybe some of my positive energy will rub off on her. If not, her unhappiness has nothing to do with me.” This isn’t always an easy thing to do but definitely a powerful technique. In order to get the full benefit from it, you need to make sure that you’re aware of what’s going on around you. You need to detach yourself from the event while it’s happening and just observe it.
- Instead, work on managing your emotions set some goals for yourself in terms of handling the relationship differently. Use “If/Then” thinking to embolden your implementation of your plans. This formula was described in a psychology today article and believe me it works! Prepare by focusing on what you will do if an exchange happens, using the “If X, then Y” formula. For example, “If my friend makes a nasty remark, then I’m going to say, ‘Why would you say something so hurtful?’” This isn’t easy and it takes practice, but standing up for your perceptions is important.
- If the toxic person is someone you can’t avoid coming into contact like a co-worker, a neighbor, your friend or someone in your social circle set boundaries for behavior and the kind of contact you’re going to have. Insecurely attached people often have trouble recognizing what a healthy boundary looks like and don’t always know how to negotiate them. You don’t need to be rude in fact, it’s important that you are not but that you are firm and decisive. If it’s a work situation, go through the appropriate channels and put it in writing. To a co-worker, you might say, “I’m okay with criticism but I’d prefer if you not make it personal.” For the toxic others you can ultimately give the boot, plan an exit strategy.
- It’s likely that the toxic person in your life has his or her own “investment” in the connection.He likes controlling you or she likes the lift her power over you gives her so once you start setting boundaries and confronting the individual, don’t expect him to go gently into the night. The chances are good that he or she will redouble efforts to keep the dynamic going by manipulating or spreading rumors about you to gain the upper hand.
- I find that the “universe” uses negative people as the way to get me to move on whenever I’m getting comfortable in a situation that isn’t challenging me anymore. It’s like a prod that I should be focusing more on following my dream rather than just getting caught up in a nice, comfortable routine that isn’t getting me anywhere. If I didn’t have these people, then I would probably just stay. So, sometimes I’m really grateful to these people because they’re giving me the “kick” that I need to get out of a comfort rut. So, take the time and think about the big picture of the situation. Is it a sign that you need to make some bigger changes in your life?
- If you can be higher energy than they are, then your energy will most likely start to rub off on those around you instead of the other way around. Also, the less you pay attention to them, the less they’ll affect you. It takes only one person to bring down an entire office but the reverse is true as well in that it only takes one person to completely bring up the positive energy of an entire office.
And lastly, David J. Pollay is the author of The Law of the Garbage Truck. His belief is that,
“Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.”